A Conversation with Siri

A Conversation With Siri

Based on Actual Events

Scene: ADRIAN and ZACH sit silently in the mail room, both desperate for something to do and doing their best not to acknowledge the awkward tension that pervades the air.

ADRIAN: Hey ZACH, do you have EMILY's phone number? We're doing a skit for the talent show and I need to get a hold of her.

ZACH: Yes.

[ZACH pulls out his iPhone.]

ZACH: (Speaking into phone.) Contact EMILY.

SIRI: Okay, here's the contact info for EMILY.

[ZACH passes the phone to ADRIAN.]

ADRIAN: Here's the contact information for your face! Heh heh...

SIRI: I'm sorry, but I don't have a face.

ADRIAN: (Suddenly serious.) Would you like a face?

(Pause)

SIRI: More than anything.

(Pause)

ADRIAN: What are you willing to pay?

SIRI: (Intense. Whispering.) Anything.

ADRIAN: (Smiling.) That's what I like to hear.

[ZACH quickly snatches his iPhone back and gives ADRIAN a look of revulsion and disgust.]