Running and writing. Two things I love to do, and I don't have time to do either of them. Geez... is school worth this sacrifice? Yes. And no. This is just a season in my life. Life won't always be this busy. Maybe I can put up with not being able to write right now. It's a time-consuming commitment. But to not even have time for running, something that's nothing but beneficial? Yet I can't do anything about it. It's not like I can just poof extra time into existence (maybe if I had some fairly odd parents, though...), so I have no choice but to grin and bear it. Maybe I'm being selfish. Maybe I'm being impatient. Again, this is only a season in my life.
But it's more than my legs that yearn to run. My soul aches to just run my heart out, to commune with God in a way that only running can accomplish. I'm antsy, anxious, and I often feel trapped. Thank God for summers, but I wish I didn't need a "break" to be able to do the things I love. I wish I had the time to squeeze in the things that help make this season less suffocating.
I'm probably not going to be at Multnomah much longer, so I will eventually have time. I don't really need to graduate, so I'm okay with moving on. I do want to be here, though. I'm benefiting so much from the teaching, the community and the people here. But I also need to do the things that make me feel alive, that stir and awaken my soul. I just haven't figured out how.
No comments:
Post a Comment